What the?! There is white stuff falling from the sky?! January 7, 2010

I live in a region where we do not get a lot snow. With this most delightful miserable cold wave (is that what the opposite of a heat wave is called?) we are getting snow today. I am still at home, I am the ultimate procrastinator, and have yet to return to school. Snow here is a big damn deal around here. The schools let out early today, and I am pretty sure the stores have all been out of bread since like Tuesday. Lucky for me, not everyone knows about the garbage, crumbly, fake bread I get to eat! Whoo hoo! At least Celiac’s is good for something! So yes, even on Tuesday, with the prediction that there may be snow coming, people freaked out and bought up all the bread and milk. So today, as I am driving to the house, my gas light came on. I stopped by a gas station close to my house, and it was packed! There were lines at each pump. Kroger was packed, and all the schools were getting released early.

This is supposed to be the “Bible Belt” and I am really confused as to why whenever it snows, the mass majority acts as if the world is about to end. I don’t know much about the Bible or anything, but I am pretty sure the apocalypse and snow are unrelated. But, I mean, I could be wrong. It is just that I am so rarely wrong. But seriously, the way people act and around and talk about snow here, you would seriously think that the world is about to end. Snow is like a natural disaster here. If there is a minuscule amount of snow on the side of the road, you best watch out for the all the other dumb ass drivers. I swear, just because there is a microscopic bit of snow on the road, these dumb asses decide that the entire road is iced and snowed over, and they will be going off the road. It is just a matter of time. So while trying to drive out in these apocalyptic conditions, you must pray and hope that one of these dumb shits does not decide to drive off the road while you are around them, because odds are they will take you off the road with them.

So now that the end of the world has officially begun, and will continue until the snow melts and passes us and people can wait until its next strike, I am stuck in my house. I would like to get out, but due to the sheer idiocy of those around me, I will be trapped in my house. It is pretty sad, I do not have to worry about the roads being too bad to get out, but the other drivers being to bad to even attempt getting on the roads with them. So it looks like it will be a little while longer until I can make my way back to school. I love it when I get to procrastinate and legitimately blame it on something else 😀

I said that I did NOT want a biscuit!! December 1, 2009

I just ran out to KFC to get dinner. I know, not the best of places, but whatever. I haven’t tried the grilled chicken there yet, and I really do love those green beans and mashed potatoes. As I was placing my order for my piece of chicken, potatoes, and green beans the lady asked if I wanted a biscuit and drink with my food. I told her no, I do not want either of those.

**I hate Pepsi products, I am a Coke product girl all the way! I refuse to get drinks (other than water) at places that serve Pepsi. This is an improvement, there for awhile, I refused to even frequent places that didn’t offer Coke products, talk about progress!**

**I also have an unfortunate situation/condition, Celiac’s Disease. I can’t eat any foods that contain gluten. For those of you that are blessedly unaware of what gluten is (I am so envious) I will enlighten you. It is a protein found in all forms of the following: wheat, rye, and barley. Before I was diagnosed, my stomach was constantly an issue, it was always hurting, I usually felt like crap, and it was not unusual for my stomach to be so poochy and bloated that I looked quite preggers, now when this happens my brother and I refer to it as my ‘gluten baby’. Awesome and not uncomfortable at all, I know! I have always had a love for breads, pastas, CAKES, and pretty much anything make with sweet delicious wheat. For example, The BREAD of Life. I can do a pretty good job of avoiding these foods, but sometimes, it really is just too much for me. And I try to avoid the situation all together if possible, because I always regret it! It is much harder though if it is in front of me, and I have nobody to rip the forbidden food out of my hand. Point in case I was hanging out with [B] the other day. He was making biscuits and gravy, I was glaring at him, and making mean faces at him, when he stepped outside. I ran, snatched a biscuit, and started shoving it into my mouth. I had about half the biscuit left when the door opened and he started to walk in. I shoved the rest of it in my mouth hoping he wouldn’t notice. He did, asked me what I was eating, I tried to be cute by smiling and shrugging, but he asked me again. I tried to talk, but my mouth was still full of biscuit. BUSTED!**

I pull up to the window, pay, get my food, and head home. I get to the apartment, and sit down to enjoy my dinner. Well, that lady did not listen to me at all! She gave me a biscuit! That bitch!!! I grabbed it, and was walking to throw it away, when I realized how warm, soft, and wonderful it smelled. I turned around and set it next to my plate. The mashed potatoes also were drenched in gravy. Gravy is one of those foods that tries to sneak wheat into me. Most gravies are made using flour. I still forget about this shit until it was too late. Well, I was not about to throw out my potatoes! So I rationalized that since I was already going to have a stomachache from the gravy, I may as well just eat the biscuit. I did and it was like a little slice of heaven in my mouth!!! Such sweet glory! Of course even as I am typing this I am starting to feel nauseated, my stomach is making some weird noises, and I can feel the beginnings of a gluten baby. But of course, this really isn’t my fault, the fault lies with that scheming KFC lady! Ugh! Being bad tastes so great, but does not feel so good at all